im really upset with myself. i can honestly say hes the only person who has been able to realy lift my spirit and who has been able to really be there for me. he's the first person i think of when i wake up but i cant be everything for him. i want to be happy for him and i want him to know im there. the last thing i want him to see is me not at my strongest point. he means everything to me and i cant even be happy for him. i cant even be proud of what we have. and i'm afraid that by the time that i do it will all be too late. i mean its the way i am, and im afraid of what could happen. im so much more vulnerable than i was before. im afraid of getting hurt and im afraid of hurting.
Monday, January 10, 2005
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