How are we supposed to live our lives when we are being constantly faced with such issues as our own paranoia? There is no way in hell that a person can live life to the fullest if she/he is always worried about "people out to get her/him". This is something that we face everyday. America’s paranoia leads us to wars and nationwide hatred of another. Imagine what it can do to a tight knit group of friends. I'm so beyond worried that our friendships will crash and burn b/c of rumors and fear. Everyone’s afraid of being alone. Everyone’s afraid of what another has to say (I truly honestly believe that). A person who feels that he/she couldn't care less of what others think or believe about him/her is fooling his/herself. We all care b/c that’s part of who we are. It’s one of the bases of society. And anyone who claims that he/she is not affected by society is lying to his/herself. Anyway, let me get to the point. I have been away for quite a while and when I come back it seems as if all these issues are just appearing out of thin air. Issues that have been bothering us for quite a long time. I’ve made a vow to myself that I will never let myself get so bothered over the actions of others, like I did the other day.
I honestly scared myself seeing the way I was acting. I’ve realized that I'm going to stop calling people my best friends b/c when it comes down to it...no one has best friends. Well not entirely. Ok I’m going to contradict myself here. Friends go through things, whether they’re your "best" or not. When I think of a "best friend" I think of a friend who is just soooo extra special to you that he/she becomes the "best". The title "best friend" doesn't change anything though. There is still back stabbing, still unreliability, still lying and rumors, still everyday worries that face two friends. The "best" part of it just means that it will hit you harder. For a long time I didn't understand why it hurt so much when Karina said she couldn't spend my birthday with me. But now, right at this moment, I understand. It's because I consider her my "best friend". It's because she’s that special to me. That with any other friend I might have not cared as much but because it was her, it hurt so much more. And most of my other friends are guys, pretty much all of them except Teresa, Anisa, and ester. And so they wont understand as much. But between that, and my already emotional woman part of me, it hurt soooo badly. Like someone repeatedly stabbing me, sending me back to every single time something like that happened between me and her and any other person as well. But I understand. And I guess its ok to become upset b/c that just shows me how much that person means to me. Like when you hate someone. That person has to mean something to you enough to hate. Because hate consumes and I mean that person better mean something for you to let something like hate consume you.
Ok, I see that I got lost in my topic. Hate to say it but prewriting does work. Lol. Ok. Back to the issue at hand. Paranoia (I kind of like the topic). I'm extremely worried that this is going to ruin my friendship with others. Just people thinking that people are out to get them and that people are talking about them behind their backs. Ok let me face that right now. Everyone talks about everyone behind his or her backs. Everyone. And I think its stupid because we get sooo worked up when someone does it to us. But the same person who is "talking behind your back" is usually the same person you've been "talking about behind their backs". Because obviously you had to be talking about them behind their back to know from someone else that they were talking about you. It’s a freaking vicious cycle. And I’m not sure if you’re really getting my logic. Sorry Anisa but I’m using you as an example. Say Anisa has been talking about me behind my back. And I talk to Karina and she tells me what’s being said and everything. I know like everyone else I’m going to have some words for Anisa. And at that moment and time I going to voice everything that I’ve been thinking bad about Anisa up to that point. And now what am I doing "talking about someone behind their backs". Now I’m being a hypocrite b/c I’m doing the same thing that this person has done, that I have deemed as being wrong, less than two seconds after I’ve heard about it happening. It’s a vicious cycle, that when you think about it, is extremely immature. And its sad because grown ups do it too. And most of us want to be mature and stuff like this is what keeps us immature. I just think we should all leave this childish "he said she said" alone. I understand it may never happen but as long as we are trying to it can happen. Besides everyone know its not right to lie. And gossiping is pretty much like lying. You are distorting the truth about someone else for usually your own amusement or your "concern". Nothing good comes out of gossiping. It just hurts more people. And furthers insecurities that are later fed by paranoia leaving that person thinking that everyone is out to get her/him. It’s stupid, and it should stop before people get hurt. Plus I know that I’d rather the person consult me if there are being lies being spread that I was “talking about someone behind their backs”.
I honestly scared myself seeing the way I was acting. I’ve realized that I'm going to stop calling people my best friends b/c when it comes down to it...no one has best friends. Well not entirely. Ok I’m going to contradict myself here. Friends go through things, whether they’re your "best" or not. When I think of a "best friend" I think of a friend who is just soooo extra special to you that he/she becomes the "best". The title "best friend" doesn't change anything though. There is still back stabbing, still unreliability, still lying and rumors, still everyday worries that face two friends. The "best" part of it just means that it will hit you harder. For a long time I didn't understand why it hurt so much when Karina said she couldn't spend my birthday with me. But now, right at this moment, I understand. It's because I consider her my "best friend". It's because she’s that special to me. That with any other friend I might have not cared as much but because it was her, it hurt so much more. And most of my other friends are guys, pretty much all of them except Teresa, Anisa, and ester. And so they wont understand as much. But between that, and my already emotional woman part of me, it hurt soooo badly. Like someone repeatedly stabbing me, sending me back to every single time something like that happened between me and her and any other person as well. But I understand. And I guess its ok to become upset b/c that just shows me how much that person means to me. Like when you hate someone. That person has to mean something to you enough to hate. Because hate consumes and I mean that person better mean something for you to let something like hate consume you.
Ok, I see that I got lost in my topic. Hate to say it but prewriting does work. Lol. Ok. Back to the issue at hand. Paranoia (I kind of like the topic). I'm extremely worried that this is going to ruin my friendship with others. Just people thinking that people are out to get them and that people are talking about them behind their backs. Ok let me face that right now. Everyone talks about everyone behind his or her backs. Everyone. And I think its stupid because we get sooo worked up when someone does it to us. But the same person who is "talking behind your back" is usually the same person you've been "talking about behind their backs". Because obviously you had to be talking about them behind their back to know from someone else that they were talking about you. It’s a freaking vicious cycle. And I’m not sure if you’re really getting my logic. Sorry Anisa but I’m using you as an example. Say Anisa has been talking about me behind my back. And I talk to Karina and she tells me what’s being said and everything. I know like everyone else I’m going to have some words for Anisa. And at that moment and time I going to voice everything that I’ve been thinking bad about Anisa up to that point. And now what am I doing "talking about someone behind their backs". Now I’m being a hypocrite b/c I’m doing the same thing that this person has done, that I have deemed as being wrong, less than two seconds after I’ve heard about it happening. It’s a vicious cycle, that when you think about it, is extremely immature. And its sad because grown ups do it too. And most of us want to be mature and stuff like this is what keeps us immature. I just think we should all leave this childish "he said she said" alone. I understand it may never happen but as long as we are trying to it can happen. Besides everyone know its not right to lie. And gossiping is pretty much like lying. You are distorting the truth about someone else for usually your own amusement or your "concern". Nothing good comes out of gossiping. It just hurts more people. And furthers insecurities that are later fed by paranoia leaving that person thinking that everyone is out to get her/him. It’s stupid, and it should stop before people get hurt. Plus I know that I’d rather the person consult me if there are being lies being spread that I was “talking about someone behind their backs”.
…And I guess that’s all I have to say
