Just A Thought About Our Friendship

"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake." - William Blake,

Merlin

Today I saw Merlin, my old friend from Sayreville. I haven't spoken to her since the Christmas of 2002, I think. Merlin and me used to be so close when I lived in Sayreville. But after I moved so many things were going on that we kind of lost touch. After we left Sayreville, we needed time to get ourselves back together and time passed me by. It's crazy how things change, people, places, etc. I could barely recognize her the way she’s changed and she could barely recognize me. She’s so much skinnier than I remember and her hair is kind of longer. The only reason I remembered her was because of her face and her voice. Its crazy cause the only reason she stopped was to ask if I had worked there or something. I think it was just a way to get a conversation going so that she could remember who I was. Thinking about it now, if she hadn't done that we would have passed by each other and I would forever be wondering what happened to her. I had a dream the other day that I went back to Sayreville and I was searching for her and she was dead. It kind of scared me. I mean dreams have meanings and how can you decode a dream like that. Many ways, now that I think of it but…Anyway, so she asked me if I worked there and then was about to leave when I asked if she was Merlin. And she was like yea but still couldn't remember who I was, so I helped her along. But after everything (she asked where I lived now, we said our goodbyes) I was left thinking how I should have asked her for her phone number, or where she lived, or how she was doing. It was such an awkward situation, so fast, and just out of place. It was as if our lives just crashed into each other, like a car crash. I remember when I saw the movie Crash and how they said how people might just crash into each other just so they can feel that there is someone else there o for relief or something. And I guess that’s what happened today. I needed to know that the people that I’ve left behind were ok. I just wish…Now that I think of it, what would I have done with a number and an address? I mean I'm not that good with staying in touch. I've left so many "best friends" along the way and what’s the point. I’m just happy to know that she is alive and well.