Sick

these past fel days haven't been that great. i've been kinda sad by the way y supposed "friends" have been treating me. and its not even that their my friends , wait yea they can be cosidered friends. just cause their not my best friends like anisa and karina, doesn't mean their not my friends. anyway, so all this time ive been sitting with corey and jean and a few other ppl during breakfast,lunch, and dinner. i should have known better but i dont know i thought ppl changed. i remember when i left 8th grade i didn't like corey at all just b/c of the way he acts and treats ppl. coreys disgusting, rude, obnoxious, inconsiderate, and just plain nasty. and i guess ppl dont change. what possesses a person to put their hands in someones food when thier eating it. what possesses a person to drink out of someone elses cup when your not finished drinking it your self. and i know its not a boy thing. its a pig thing. but thats not even the issue. corey it rude and mean to me for no reason. he just comes out of no where being rude and mean for no reason. its the way he comes at me. and im sick of it. im fed up. then jean has to come a jump in. its not funny, its not cool, and im kida pist off. i decided i wasn't going to sit with them anymore. but then we had this workshop yesterday and corey did it again. and i sware, i was so overwelmed with being upset. i just went in my room and cried for a while.

anyway so today i satwith my roomate and laura. and some how we got to the issue, and shakila (my roomie) and laura took it upon themselves to fix the situation. they went to this boy torrell and talked to hima bout something that happened and smilie was soo nice and understanding and we worked it out. but corey on the otherhand was obnoxious, rude, inconsiderate, ect. he was himself. he made it seem like i was being wrong for trying to take up for myself.

im just sick of ppl thinking they can say and do whatever to me and that i wont care. for years and years ive just sucked it up and delt with it. ignored the fact that i was being hurt soo badly.i ignored everything just hoping thati could put it behind me.people are just really in considerate and hurtful. and im just fed up.

anyway im in the process of setting up my party. i hope everyone can come. but i doubt it. i can understand it you had something planned. but if you have like a personal issue then i will be kind of upset. for example, if teresa doesn't come b/c anisa and armando are comming im going to be kinda upset. b/c what does that have to do with me. and if she does come and her and anisa ruin my birthday by being "how they are when their around each other" im going to be so mad. my birthday is a day to celebrate the fact that i was born and that im alive. if it doesnt matter to you then fuck you. b/c anyone who doesn't care whether i live or die are assholes and i dont really want to be associated with you anyway. im really hoping to have a good birthday . i really doubt it,. i really dont like birthdays and i know that this year is going to be like every other year. oh well.

....and thats all i have to say